The Persian Wedding: Excerpts from the English Section

Khâstegâri (asking for her)

On a predetermined date, the young man and his family dress up and go to the young woman’s family's house. They are greeted warmly. Pastries are served. The girl enters the room carrying a tray of teacups and offers it to the guests. This is not an easy task. She is nervous and her hands are probably shaking...

Nâmzad-bâzi (engagement flirtation)

There is no married person who does not remember the exciting, wonderful memories of the period of time in which they were engaged. In a culture where any contact between a man and a woman is strictly limited, even after nâmzadi (engagement), this episode, which lasts from the night of the engagement to the actual wedding, is treasured. It usually starts with brief visits, most often in the presence of family members, an exchange of loving looks and occasionally, if they are brave and an opportunity presents itself, stealing a kiss, which is always associated with a feeling of anxiety and excitement...

Sofreh-ye aghd (the setting)

There is a large ceremonial rectangular cloth, ... This is a treasured item and is sometimes transferred from generation to generation. The items placed on the cloth each have their own symbolic meaning. Although the wealth of the families may influence the quality of the items to some extent, the actual symbols are essentially the same...

Khoncheh (the tray)

This is a large tray containing different colorful seeds and herbs in different designs. Many of the patterns are in the shape of a paisley which is a symbol of regeneration and fertility. Within all these different designs, different colorful seeds are placed. This tray is very important from a traditional point of view and the aghd setting, without it, would be missing an important part...

Hafez Book of Poetry or the Religious Book and Prayer Set

Depending upon the ideology of the families and the level of their religious commitments, any of these books may be used. Hafez book of poetry is essentially the highest literary symbol of love in Persian culture. On the other hand, based upon the religion of the couple, religious books may be placed on the aghd setting...

Aghd ceremony (exchange of vows)

This part is done usually in the afternoon or near the time of sunset. In some locations, the bride sits at the side of the aghd setting and then the groom enters. The first image that he sees in the mirror is the image of the bride. In some localities, the groom is the one who sits and waits. This is a sign of his respect and desire for the bride and being eager. To me, this second arrangement seems more beautiful. The groom sits on the right side of the bride. This is a sign of respect. The bride sits on the left side of the groom, closer to his heart.

A religious authority or a licensed civil authority performs the aghd ceremony. Throughout the ceremony, cone-shaped sugar loaves are rubbed together above the silk or satin cloth. This is the rain of sweetness over the cloth symbolizing a sweet life. Sometimes a few people take turns rubbing the sugar cones together.

... asks the bride if she accepts the groom as her husband. This question is traditionally repeated three times. The first and second time the bride does not respond. Other people make excuses like, “she went to the library,” or “she has gone to pick some flowers.” Finally, the third time, very quietly, she responds, “baleh (yes).” It is said that not responding the first two times indicates that the bride is entering this marriage with enough thoughtfulness and wisdom...

Jashn-e-aroosi (wedding reception)

...Jashn-e-aroosi has always been a grand celebration. Even for people of limited economic ability, they would do their best to make it memorable. Of course the level of wealth would influence the extent of the festivities... Almost everybody in the community was invited. It was against the honor and social etiquette of Persians not to invite everybody for such an important day. The doors of the house had to remain open, and whoever happened to pass by was also invited to come in....